I am going through an “I am fed up with rude behavior” phase (as defined by my Ukrainian and American standards) and I am not hiding it. I am setting limits all over the place.
When my kids’ friends parents show up 2 hours late picking up their child (again!) and make up some lame excuse, I just smile (it’s more of a grimace actually) and nod my head, instead of saying “tranquila” (the equivalent of “no problem” like a Colombian would (even if they didn’t mean it). I am sure my annoyance is palpable.
When another mom just sends her child home to my house after my kids’ ceramics class, without even checking with me if it’s OK (She just told the teacher “Oh, I am running late. Can you take my daughter to Natalie’s house?”??!!!), then tells me when I call to see what’s going on that she will be there to get her in 15 minutes, but shows up an hour and a half later, without so much as an apology. This woman isn’t even a close friend! I barely know her and she leaves her child with me without checking! Again, I just grimace. Message sent.
When yet another mom whose two kids come over for an impromptu playdate calls and asks me what time she should pick up her kids and I tell her “within a half an hour because I need to put my kids to bed, especially my 2 year old who doesn’t sleep well” and she shows up an hour later (and she lives 2 minutes away), she finds me upstairs putting my youngest to bed. We are halfway through her bedtime routine and I am not about to interrupt it and start all over so I just yell goodbye downstairs and continue with what I was doing. I don’t come down to say goodbye. A major faux-pas by Colombian standards. But showing up late and during bedtime is a major faux-pas by my standards so I don’t care.
Now you see why I might wind up with no friends here. On the other hand none of these people are really my friends. My real friends here have accepted my American quirks… and show up on time.